


Devious Drunk Plans Sometimes Work

by YukiDWinters



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: But today fluff, Devious drunk Jaskier, Drunk Jaskier, First Kiss, Fluff, Geralt knows all, Geralt sees all, Get Together, Hungover Jaskier, Jaskier is too obvious for his own good, M/M, Someday I might do angst, all i write is fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:53:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24099907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YukiDWinters/pseuds/YukiDWinters
Summary: Drunk Jaskier has come up with some devious plans before, but never left evidence of his deeds until Jaskier wakes up to a threat to expose his feelings for Geralt the next time he's drunk, if sober Jaskier doesn't do so first. Things don't always go the way we plan though.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 8
Kudos: 150





	Devious Drunk Plans Sometimes Work

**Author's Note:**

> So I found a fun prompt on Tumblr and made a few changes and here's what came out!

Jaskier’s head pounded as he woke up. The bed was small and stiff, but at least this time he was in a bed. One could only travel so long with a witcher and not begin to appreciate the small things granted when they finally got to an inn.

Rubbing his temple, he sat up and looked around the small room. Geralt was already up and most likely downstairs in the stables preparing Roach for the next leg of their travels. Jaskier stretched his arms and began to rub the sleep out of his eyes when he noticed a note next to him bearing his name.

“Geralt left me, didn’t he?” Jaskier began to mutter as he picked up the note, “Thinks he can just leave me? Well I will show that barbarous-” his sentence cut off when he actually took a look at the handwriting. He groaned and brought his hands, the letter still clutched in them to his face. “Oh, Melitele, what did you get up to last night, Jaskier?” 

He opened it and immediately grimace, as he began to read, “‘To the most honourable Jaskier, the greatest bard to ever be seen or heard,’” he laughed, “Good on flattery, I’ll give myself that,” he cleared his throat, “‘As you are well aware, you have your head in your ass where your feelings for a certain someone lie.’ Bollocks. ‘Now as you know, when you are drunk, and truly drunk, as I myself am now, you will do just about anything. Anything. If you do not want those feelings to be too prematurely revealed to that certain someone, you will dislocated the top of your body, from your rear, and finally confess your feelings to one Geralt of Rivia. Ever yours-

“Oh, Melitele,” he sat up with a start and put his hands to his head. “This is bad. This is very bad. This is very, very bad. This is-”

“What’s bad?” Geralt’s voice came from the door. Already dressed and apparently packed with some new potions and supplies for the journey. Jaskier jumped, his hands bringing the letter behind his back. Geralt raised a single eyebrow. Ooooo, more emotion than usual. He was suspicious. Act natural, Jaskier, act natural. “I know it isn’t because you stuck your cock anywhere it shouldn’t be.”

Jaskier’s head immediately began to fill up with excuses. He lost his lute. No, lute’s in the corner. His parents sent for him. Actually when did he ever he talk to his parents? Not that one. He just heard that Princess Cirilla was headed this way and if Geralt wanted to ignore her he better get out of town. “I’ve been poisoned.” Yes, that works.

Geralt’s eyebrow stayed raised, “Poisoned?”

“Yes,” Jaskier flew from the bed running to his pack to act like he was searching for something and quickly hide the letter, “I’ve been terribly poisoned! It’s most dreadful really! So sorry, Geralt! Looks like I shall have to be left here to perish and wither and die,” he quickly went around the room trying to dress as quickly as he could to leave Geralt’s sight, “Do mention me as often as you talk! I’m sure you will miss our delightful conversations, and be sure to sing my praises and-”

“Hmmm,” Geralt said seemingly in thought,“That’s a shame.”

“Yes!” Jaskier quickly put the rest of his things in his pack, “Terrible really! Must go write something inspiring for my death! Now be a dear and-”

“And you’re sure this wouldn’t happen to do with the letter you were trying to pen last night, would it?” Geralt’s voice took on a teasing lilt.

Jaskier stood straight up and looked at Geralt, “Why Geralt? Is that teasing? I didn’t know you knew how to tease!” He then blushed, “but, I mean, what letter? There’s a letter? I’ve never heard of a letter! What’s a letter?”

“Hmmm,” Geralt walked over and took the pack from Jaskier. He reached into it and dug around for a brief moment, before pulling out the now very squashed parchment, “The one you began writing aloud in the tavern last night after you finished singing and began to start on the drinking.”

Jaskier blushed, “I...wrote it… a loud?” 

A nod.

“You were there?” 

Another nod.

“You heard everything I wrote?”

A final nod

“Well,” Jaskier grimaced, “This is completely mortifying. Any chance I can get that poison now?’

“Not a chance,” Geralt said as he reached over to grasp Jaskier’s cheek and kissed him. Jaskier's eyes went wide for a moment, then closed and his arms circled around Geralt’s neck. All too soon the kiss was over, and they parted.

“Nevermind on the poison,” Jaskier said, “I’ll take another kiss instead.”


End file.
